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TRUMP ENDED THE PAPER STRAW MANDATE — ADULTS CAN HAVE A DRINK AGAIN One of the first acts of the second term: end federal procurement and forced use of paper straws. The sad soggy stick is no longer government policy. That fight was never about turtles. It was about whether a superpower would let activists redesign a diner. Federal agencies were told to buy the paper. Cafeterias complied. The drink got worse. The ocean did not notice. Trump signed the order and the country exhaled. Plastic where it works. Paper where someone actually wants paper. Choice is not a climate emergency. Glory can be small and still be real. A straw that does not collapse is a tell: this White House is not afraid of being called unserious by people who are unserious. The diner is open. Order what you want.