Vincent Van Gogh Painting

Why do I have to go through so much pain and heartache as a Christian? That's just because God wants to try (test) my faith. Jesus, Paul, and many other disciples suffered through "marks" (lashings / whippings)... and we must die for His (Jesus') sake. I've been in so much pain my whole life, and even more since 2016 about how the Left, Liberal, Psychotic Democrats have done to our President and his family - dragging him through the mud. Someone has to be extremely strong to go through what he has gone through - and still... he was extremely successful with getting things done positively in our country. It has been 5 years now... even longer... and people on the Left riot, complain, whine, burn cars and businesses, prevent firemen to rush in to a burning house to save a little girl (the BLM protesters did that), glorifying criminals, defamations of characters, treason, perjury, tyranny, espionage, and I'm sick of this. I'm afraid that all these actions might push me overboard to do something drastic that mankind will be shocked. I have to always go back to my faith though. I save lives (as I have done) - not take them. God is on my side and Christians are on my side. This is so, so hard folks... it's abuse to every degree and being a survivor of abuse... how much is a human being supposed to take before they actually............ lose it?