07-03-24 Happy Trumpmor

HAPPY TRUMPMORE WINS Cartoon 07/01/2024 During last week’s Presidential Debate, President Trump was asked about his physical fitness. After all, he’s only three years younger than Biden. It’s obvious Trump is far more robust and sentient than Joe, and he cited golf as an activity that helps keep him fit—mentally and physically. Trump cited a couple of championships he had won. This triggered a jealous Biden and he chimed about what a great golfer he was. He claimed he had a handicap of only 6. Trump smiled and scoffed when he heard such a claim. He obviously considered it to be another one of Joe’s fibs. I have never played golf. I’m sure I would be completely terrible at the game if I ever tried playing it. I know how the game works, but I never bothered to learn what ‘handicap’ meant. So I looked it up. It’s an accumulated average score of all the player’s games. A zero handicap means the player averages par for all the games, something only professionals can achieve. A handicap of 6 is an exceptional achievement for an amateur player, and Trump knew instantly that Joe was stretching the truth—after all, Biden loves to exaggerate his accomplishments—especially when it comes to sports. Trump laughed and said Biden couldn’t even drive the ball 50 yards. This has to be true considering Joe couldn’t make it down a stage stair without Jill’s help. It was a silly thing to debate considering the myriad and serious problems our country faces, but it was another talking point that Trump won easily. If we compare Trump with the fictional character Happy Gilmore (from a movie about golf), we see a few similarities. Trump ran for president with no political experience—and he won. Happy had no golf experience and yet at the end he wins the gold jacket (similar to the green jacket). Both made impossible shots that annoyed those who consider themselves above such unqualified rabble. Happy shot a hole-in-one. So did Trump. I’ve heard there might be a remake of ‘Happy Gilmore,’ and I’m guessing he will have learned a lot of lessons about life and golf. Trump has also learned a lot from his first term, whereas the Democrats are stuck with a player who constantly shoots double bogeys. — Ben Garrison